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“AND” Thinking

Author:

Rabbi Schusterman

Date:

October 13, 2021

Tags:

Lifestyle, Rebuilding, Recovery, Relationships


One of the challenges of our time is “either or” thinking.  It shows up in people’s political views and either or thinking.  It also shows up in Covid Character Assasination.   

Don’t get me wrong; I imagine we have strong political views, and we may have strong Covid views as well.  And we have proof to support our position, scientific, actual real stories, religious or otherwise.  But the bottom line is that we see the world as good and bad, right and wrong, your with me or against me.

When it comes to a deep and profound relationship with G-d, the more we make it about G-d and less about ourselves the stronger the relationship is. 

When my relationship with G-d is about how it serves me, I’m serving myself in this process.  The more I can focus on G-d the more I’m serving G-d and the less I’m serving myself.

When G-d tells Abraham to leave home, his birthplace and his land, G-d is telling him to leave all of that behind.  G-d is telling him that to connect means to make it about the One you are connecting with.

Yet, we see that Abraham actually takes his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, his possessions and the people he and Sarai had brought close to the monotheistic faith. 

Abraham didn’t have either or thinking.  Abraham knew that both things could exist together.  Once he surrendered himself to G-d he was able to bring everything he owned and possessed into his relationship with G-d.

We may have shortcoming hardwired into our genetic system but we are still filled with goodness and gems.
Our parents may not have done a perfect job but they gave us many wonderful qualities and tools.
Our upbringing may have had many negatives to it, things we may be scarred from but there are many wonderful things there as well.

One day a man – an addict – is driving in his car and God he has tried again and again to become sober and clean and he just can’t do it. He prays to Gd and and Gd comes to him and tells him, 

Gd – “Today is your lucky day. Today sobriety is on sale for very cheap. How much money to you have in your pocket”

Man – “$20”

Gd – Ok, $20 dollars for sobriety. 

Man – that’s a great deal. I’ll take it. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttt, if you take my $20 I won’t have money to put in my car for gas?

Gd – Oh, you have a car? In that case, the cost for sobriety is $20 and your car.

Man – If you take my car, I won’t be able to get to work?

Gd – Oh, you have a job? In that case, the cost for sobriety is $20, your car and your job.

Man – If you take my job, I won’t be able to feed my family?

Gd – Oh, you have a family? In that case, the cost for sobriety is $20, your car and your job and your family.

This continues and goes on for a bit until the man is truly left with absolutely nothing. 

At this point, God tells the man, Ok, Here, You can have everything back. Here is your family, your job, your car, your $20 etc. But, from now on it is my money, my car, my job, my family and it is on loan to you to do the best you can with it. You knowing that it is mine will help you treat it right and do with it as we are supposed to.

To show up in our relationship fully with G-d we need to first let go of all of our “stuff”, the baggage we are carrying around and present ourselves to G-d for G-d and for no other reason.  At that point we can then reintroduce these other qualities and bring them into our relationship with G-d.

Abraham has AND thinking.  I will let go and surrender everything to G-d AND I will bring everything that is unique about me and my world into my service of G-d.

Hard work, but this is the real work of life!

Have a great Shabbos!




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