Divine Insecurity
In this week’s Torah portion, the opening of the 5th book of the Torah, Moses recounts the travails of the Jewish People in the desert.
In recounting the story of the spies and their return from Israel with a negative report he tells us; “You said, God took us out of the land of Egypt because He hates us and wishes to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites and destroy us.”
Self perception is the key to our self worth or lack thereof. The Jewish People’s perceptions of their own relationship and self worth caused them to think that G-d hates them.
This Sunday we mark the 9th of Av and the destruction of the two Temples in Jerusalem. On the eve of Tisha B’av we will read from the book of Lamentations/Eicha. The first four words of this book are; O how has the city that was once so populous remained lonely!
The first four letters of these words spell the word Eivah which means hate. Our Sages say that it is the self perception that G-d could possibly hate us that allows for us to remain the darkness of exile.
This is profoundly simple. If we think that G-d hates us then there really is no hope for us and we may as well not try. If however we come to recognize that it is our inability to see what is really going on and for us to always perceive G-d’s actions and intentions that makes us feel alone, then there is hope. Then we have the ability to dig deeper and realize that there is nothing that G-d loves more than us which is why He put us here in the first place.
We also can realize that we have something to accomplish and G-d is stepping back (in our perception) so that we can grow from our experiences and overcome our challenges.
This brings fresh light into the world and into our experiences and removes us from the self pity and loneliness.
Indeed, we pray that our perception should be illuminated and we should be able to see the Master plan. But until then we have our faith to hold onto and our inherent connection to know that G-d loves us and is motivating us to greater growth.
Have a great Shabbos!
