Honor Thy Parents

In a discussion last week with some Young Adults regarding the critical components to a happy marriage we identified honor, love and admiration.

How does one honor another? For this we have the commandment from this week’s Torah portion; Honor they father and mother.

The Talmud asks what is honor? To clothe, bathe and feed. Actions!

Love, while it is important and the spice of any relationship, since however it is an emotion, it is not always present and is not a constant. Honor on the other hand, since it is an action can always be acted upon.

Note that the Torah doesn’t command us to love our parents. Since love is an emotion and is complex, not every child loves their parents and at least not every child loves their parents constantly.

Children always (very few don’t) have some issue with their parents. It’s ingrained in us since Cain and Abel and their relationship with Adam and Eve. Barring unique circumstances of blatant abuse we always maintain the obligation to honor our parents.

Thus the Torah commands us to honor our parents, because this is always in our power.

Why is honoring parents so important? Here again the Torah shows us its incredible sense of uprightness. Our parents brought us into this world and for that we must be eternally grateful. Gratitude is shown in actions (including word actions).

May the journey be an easy one.

(Is it fair to say that love never brings to honor but honor can sometimes lead to love?)