Zealous rhymes with Honest?

Ok, this is an article a bit out of my character.  It is not that I am not straightforward always, it’s more that I generally try to package my comments in a more subtle manner.  But, something happened this week that just struck a chord.  So, here it is.

I was reading this book called “The Portable Jewish Mother; a hearty serving of OY VEY!”, a cute little book that talks about all the stereotypical stuff your read about the Jewish mother.  But there is other stuff about the Jewish lifecycle, assimilation, Jewish traditions, etc.

There is a section that talks about Jewish guilt and in it a paragraphs entitled “guilt gone astray”.  Here is what was written there:

At my home we had the guilt.  My mother was entirely supportive of what we wanted to do, be it extracurricular activities in high school or a major in college.  Of course, that support came with the hurt tone and opinion that she supports it but wouldn’t I be happier if—?

I always seemed to be disappointing my mother.  She took many of my choices as personal attacks.  I deliberately had an African-American roommate and Asian girlfriend just to drive my mother nuts, if you ask her.  Mom clearly expected me to have a nice Jewish girlfriend despite the fact that religion was not a part of my lifestyle.  That family never went to shul, and I was told I had to go through with my bar mitzvah so I could receive gifts from the family to help me finance college (in the end I tapped the money to help buy a car and an engagement ring for the nice not-Jewish girl I married).  Religion was an obligation, not a lifestyle and I never saw my mother acts as if it mattered until I announced I was marrying outside the faith.  Then it became a big deal.

Twenty –six years and two grandchildren later, my mother still doesn’t attend services so I’m left to scratch my head.

My heart goes out to all those who wake up too late to influence their children.  The only way to hedge your bets that your children will turn out the way you want, is to live a zealous life.  Live an honest life.  Be an example for them.  Don’t let Judaism be an obligation, let it be a lifestyle.

In this weeks Torah portion we read of Pinchas who upon seeing a situation that appeared needing remedy. He, turned to Moses and asked for guidance.  Moses responded that it was Pinchas’ duty being that he was the one who noticed the situation and accurately calling it for what it was to act zealously upon it.

If we want to call the potential situation for what it is we need to act upon it.  Let’s not be sitting here in twenty-six years wondering why our children turned out the way they did and still be doing the same things we did twenty-six years earlier.

What do they say, “those that don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it”.

See you in Shul?!