Moshe Kraus Eulogy

We are gathered here to bid farewell to a special soul – Moshe, Jeff ben Avrohom. I will refer to both Jeff and Moshe in my remarks for the comfort of those that knew him as Jeff as we did initially and then as Moshe once he wanted us to call him by that name.

 

When our great ancestor Aaron heard of the passing of his sons Nadav and Avihu, the Torah tells us, “Vayidom Aaron”: Aaron was silent.

 

I’m sure he cried. I’m sure he was in pain. I’m sure he was broken-hearted. The silence the Torah refers to is the silence of faith. He didn’t question G-d. In his pain he knew something that was so profoundly true: G-d is the true judge, despite our limited comprehension.

 

Nonetheless, we try to make sense of loss, any loss. We try to make sense of the loss of such a precious soul, in his prime, just as he was becoming familiar again as the old Jeff, the real Jeff. Just as he was about to graduate, just as he was about to return to Yeshiva again where he had founds such peace.

 

Like his first namesake Moshe, Moses, Moshe Rabeinu, Jeff possessed a profound humility. He was quiet, didn’t take up much space when he walked into a room but at the same time was comfortable to speak what was important and real to him.

 

He was kind and sweet to all who knew him. He was what our sages call Meurav im habriyos, well blended among his peers.

 

In this past week’s Torah portion, the day we heard the news of Jeff’s passing the Torah portion opens with the words and Jacob left Beer Sheva and went down to Charan. The Chasidic masters tell us that Beer Sheva, the well of the oath is The Well, the origin of all souls where an oath is administered to the Soul in preparation for its descent into this world. The oath is an empowerment so that the person can navigate their earthly journey and stay true to their source.

 

The verse continues, and he went down to Charan. Charan is the paradigm of challenge. A place that is filled with negativity, negative people, negative circumstances.

 

Jacob’s job and the job of every soul is to go down to Charan, to descend from its lofty place and to enter into Charan. Enter into the negative spaces of this world and clear away the debris, to uncover the good in the world, to uncover the good in those around us and perhaps most importantly to uncover the good within ourselves.

 

Each soul has a specific journey. That journey is to travel to various specific places, those could be physical places or places inside of them. And in those places to elevate the Divine sparks are there.

 

All souls are special but indeed some are more special than others. The uniqueness is not in the soul itself for all souls are a part of G-d. The uniqueness of the special souls are the journey they are to endure.

 

Some have an easier journey in Charan others much more difficult. Some the difficulty is with the people around them, for others the difficulty is deep inside of them.

 

Moshe’s journey wasn’t an easy one. He struggled, he had deep struggles. They were so deep that many around him didn’t know that he struggled. Those are the most challenging of all. But the souls given these struggles are the most special of all. G-d gives the biggest job to the most important of His souls.

 

Every battle is of value. Every victory is of value. Some people win many battles, others win few battles, but it is the struggle and the victories that make these souls special.

 

These past few years as Jeff has been on his Jewish discovery journey he found peace. He found a peace that was evident in him and on him.

 

Our organization is moving into a new facility. This past Shabbat was initially going to be the second to last in our building and we were going to move right after Thanksgiving. Last week, at a last minute decision we decided to move this week. In fact the move is going on as we speak.

 

And so this this Saturday, two days ago, this past Shabbat was the last one we celebrated in this building that has served us for 18+ years.

 

I was trying to make sense of why Moshe’s passing became known on the last Shabbos of Chabad Intown in our current building.

 

When Jacob finished his job he told Laban, send me and I will go back to my place and my land. Subsequently G-d told him that it was time to return home.

 

Not everybody gets a clear message like Jacob. But no one leaves before their time and no one leaves before they have accomplished that which is the calling of their soul.

 

It took almost 17 years for Moshe to find Chabad Intown and over the past two years he connected with the physical space, spending many a Shabbos sleeping in the Chabad House, many Shabbos mornings studying Chasidus together with me and many afternoons with Rabbi Sollish studying Torah.

 

Jeff became a part of the Chabad Intown family, loved by everyone, friendly to everyone. He was our Jeff, our Moshe, our Bochur.

 

Jeff completed his job on this earth and at Chabad Intown, this past week. The sparks that needed elevating on this earth and at Chabad Intown with Jeff’s help were completed last week. And so our fates are intertwined. Chabad Intown is moving on and Moshe ben Avrohom is moving on.

 

But interesting enough neither is an end. Our tradition teaches that the soul lives on in the Garden of Eden. The soul lives on through those that were connected to it in its lifetime. The soul lives in through the impact it made on those around it in its lifetime.

 

Jeff became a part of the Chabad Intown family and Chabad Intown community. And so as Moshe’s soul moves on its timely that Chabad Intown moves on as well. Our fates are intertwined.

 

Jeff lives on in the community that lives on that he had become such an integral part of.

 

Not by chance is Jeff also the first to be buried in this new Jewish cemetery and in the Chabad Intown section.

 

For in our Jewish tradition death is not finality, but merely a transition of states. This is articulated in the verse in Kohelet (Ecclesiastes), “And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to G‑d, who gave it.”

 

Jeff, Moshe ben Avrohom lives on through his good deeds and through the good deeds that will be done in his memory. Jeff lives on through the sparks that he elevated in this world and in the many lives he came in contact with.

 

Veronica, Yan, Rebekka, Jarrett, Cecile, members of the recovery community…

 

I want to offer a few words to you. I don’t need to explain the struggle of addiction to you, it’s real, it’s heart wrenching.

 

I want to repeat what I shared earlier about the struggle of addiction. For two reasons. One to reinforce how special Jeff, Moshe was and is and will always be and at the same time to assure you and all those that were around him that you did all that you could.

 

According to the teachings of Jewish mysticism, the arrival of our souls in our bodies on Earth is a traumatic event. The soul is torn from its heavenly home to enter a finite, fallible human being.

 

No one is immune from this trauma, but certain people are affected by this trauma more than others. Two people can experience the same event or trauma, and one becomes an addict while the other does not.

 

That is because the addict has a sensitive soul. It doesn’t find comfort in its earthly abode. And so the addict turns to substances or addictive behaviors.

 

In its root, it is not a sign of weakness but of uniqueness.

 

Those around the addict try to do everything they can to help the addict get better. They try tough love and warm love. They try intervention. They try detox and rehab.

 

Sometimes the addict can find the Higher Power and get onto a healthy path. Oftentimes they don’t.

 

As with any disease, sometimes we win over the disease, and sometimes the disease wins over us.

 

Although today we are laying Jeff to rest and we mourn for what could have been, I encourage you to look at these past two years and remember, always remember that for the past two years Jeff over powered the disease. His soul was at peace.

 

Although today there is a deep sense of loss, sadness and pain I encourage you to know that you did everything for him, your love for him and his love for you is what allowed him to have these past two years of peace, for him to have found himself. Please treasure that, please hold that with you always. Jeff will always live on in you, in us, in this community, in the recovery community, in heaven in the garden of eden.

 

Moshe ben Avrahom, rest in peace, go in peace, may your memory be a blessing.