The farmer prepares the earth, plants the seed, prunes the tree, keeps the squirrels away and does what they can to nurture the seed into a sapling and strong healthy tree – including prayer.

For man is the tree of the field.

Deuteronomy 20:19

“When you come in to the Land . . . ,” opens the Parshah of Ki Tavo, “you shall take of the first of all the fruit of the Land . . . and put it in a basket; and you shall go to the place which the L‑rd your G‑d will choose to place His name there . . .”

Upon presenting the bikkurim (first-ripened fruits) at the Holy Temple, the Jewish farmer makes a declaration avowing his gratitude for all that G‑d has done for His people:

Deuteronomy 26:1-29:8

I once heard it said that every living organism as well as any organization will grow to its natural capacity as long as it is nurtured in a healthy fashion.

This means that if we water the tree, give it enough sunlight, and feed it properly it will become as big and robust as its natural ability is. (An apple tree won’t be as tall as a palm tree and it won’t give off oranges.)

What this aphorism doesn’t take into account is outside factors that are out of our control. Severe weather, damage by other creatures, animal or human. Barring outside influence there is also the possibility that the seed is damaged or for some other natural purpose the seed didn’t digest the nutrition as it could have.

In other words, we are only in control of what we can do to provide nurture and protection, but we are not in control of what happens outside of that.

Part of the inner dialogue that causes self judgement, shame and inner frustration is the expectation of control. Control over our influence on others, control over the inner struggle that each of us live with, control over the things that affect us in the past and that affect us presently that are out of our control.

The gratitude that we offer is an act of surrender to this truth and a deep expression that G-d has done his part in ensuring a successful outcome. It is also an expression that the outcome whatever it may be is a successful one because it is directly resulted from Hashem’s influence. In His kindness Hashem has given us the ability to be part of the story but the outcome is always His.

This is an empowering thought in so many areas of life; understanding our own personal story, accepting our children and other loved ones, and accepting the story of the world around us.

If you look closely at the text of thanks, you’ll see that it’s not all peaches and cream. There is a lot of pain and struggle in the gratitude. This is consistent with this message.

As we near the end of a very difficult year, we reflect on the global events and in particular of those that have affected our people. We give gratitude for the revealed blessings, we take responsibility for our part in illuminating the darkness wherever we’ve been able to and we deeply pray for a better 5785.

And we accept the Torah’s instruction: Then, you shall rejoice with all the good that the Lord, your God, has granted you and your household, you, the Levite, and the stranger who is among you.

Deuteronomy 29:11