Adult Temper Tantrums

I have continued gratitude for the gifts that we have in the areas of human understanding and recognizing the mind, body and spirit relationship.

Back in the day, when a child threw a tantrum, parents took two approaches. Either they knew the child needed to be whipped into shape or they knew the child needed spoiling.

Today we understand that there is something unsettled in the child that needs resolution. There is a fight or flight instinct at play and we need to create safety for the child.

Adults experienced the same thing in their interpersonal relationships. Only instead of throwing a tantrum (although some adults do that too) we act out in other ways. Addictions to substances and addictions to behaviors are some escapes. But all in all it is our inability or unwillingness to deal with the underlying issues that is the real cause for the inner tensions and outer outbursts.

It is no wonder that we have so many layers and dimensions as we are made of body and soul. The body itself has layers; emotions and intellect to name a few. The soul also has layers. We live in one moment in multiple dimensions and the tension that ensues is obvious. It is in fact a miracle that we function at all.

We are given a glimpse of this in this week’s Parsha. The story is well known and can be reviewed in full here. In short, Jacob is traveling back to Israel and is set to encounter his brother who is marching towards him with a large army. Having transported his family across the river, Jacob returns at night to retrieve some items. There he encounters an angel. He struggles with the angel and prevails. The angel gives him a blessing and Jacob’s name is changed to Israel – for you have struggled with man and G-d and have prevailed.

Now, imagine you are sitting in the viewing stands as this struggle between Jacob and the angel is going on. What might you see?

If you are like me, not able to see the spiritual dimensions around us, you would see Jacob fighting with himself, arms flailing at an invisible enemy. In reality, the struggle was real. Jacob was fighting with something very real just not visible to the untrained eye.

We too struggle in this manner with our invisible angels and underlying dimensions. Like Jacob we are empowered to prevail. 

The tools range from the physical (sweaty exercise and healthy eating), to the psychological (good therapy and sometimes medication), to the spiritual.

The spiritual tools are the gift of Jewish mysticism or Chasidism (Chabad Philosophy is my favorite :-)).  When we study these teachings we are given the ability to see a little past the physical dimensions and have a quicker path to uncover the underlying causes for the external struggles.

This Shabbos and Sunday is 19-20 Kislev, known as Rosh Hashanah of Chasidism.  Read more about it here.  I encourage you and myself to take advantage of these great teachings to help us get to know ourselves and the world around us better and in a deeper dimension.

Best wishes for a good Shabbos and a Shana Tova in the learning and practice of the teachings of Chasidism. 

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