Do you ever wonder if you could change the world?

Do you imagine that your personal relationships make a difference to anyone other than yourself?

Do you believe your attitudes towards other individuals and groups of people really make a difference?

 

The Talmud tells an elaborate story of a seeming petty “faribel” (=to carry a grievance) between a fellow and another and how a mistaken invite to a party and its devolution resulted in the destruction of the second Bais Hamikdash (Jerusalem Temple). 

 

 

You can read the entire story here. I would like to take these next few lines to share what I’ve learned from this story and its relevant lessons in my life.

 

Each of us lives in our head.  We see the world through attitudes and perspectives shaped by our upbringing, hard wiring, influences and choices. Our lives are made up of relationships; relationships with spouse, children, parents, friends, community, world views, politics, religious values and the workplace to name a few. Those attitudes and perspectives directly shape the format and connectivity of those relationships.

 

Here is the challenge; we are always only one side of a relationship.  When we define the entire relationship based on our perspective we really are only having a relationship with ourselves as the other fits our design. The other is only a puzzle piece that fits into MY puzzle of life.

 

Being connected to others requires a willingness to suspend and shift our perspective to truly create space for another.  Sometimes we’re afraid to do that, scared that we will lose our self and identity.  The truth however is the opposite.  When we suspend our ego to create space for the other, our truest self emerges.

 

Does this resonate? I find that most of the struggle in life is in this decision to let the ego go and open myself up to another perspective and another world view.

 

I find that in the circles I walk in, this polarization emerges from an unwillingness to create space for people’s differing political and religious views.  The notion is that the person across the aisle doesn’t just have a different perspective; they are evil and bringing destruction to society.  The person who is not upholding the religious views or values I hold dear are destroying the very underlying fabric of existence.

 

Since our self awareness is shaped by our early formative experiences, it is truly understable why we feel so strongly about these issues.  However, as mentioned this is not our true identity and it prevents us from connecting on an essential level with others.

 

Fix the cause – connecting more deeply with our soul, our neshama and connect with who we truly are.

Fix the problem – bring healing to the world, welcome the Moshiach and a world of harmony and peace.

 

So,

 

As we enter into the Shabbat that blesses the week of the 9 Av, the day we commemorate the destruction of the two Batay Mikdash (Jerusalem Temples) and the long exile we are in, let’s resolve to dig a little deeper, let go of our external ego, connect more deeply with others and bring healing to the world. 

 

Good Shabbos!