Surrender to Your Higher Power

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

We are all plagued by inner struggle; the desire to live a life of purpose and meaning on the one hand and the self interests and needs of our bodies.  

This is further exacerbated when we experience trauma which intensifies the bodies protective measures possibly to the point of narcissism and even self destruction.  This in turn further imprisons the soul which only causes the soul to yearn to further escape the body. 

The addict turns to substances to resolve this tension and struggle which only last until the effect wears off.  Over time the substance can be lethal.

In truth, we all engage in this journey.  For non addicts our behaviors aren’t around lethal substances but rather behaviors of self protection or self interest.  These behaviors can revolve around indulgence in food, unhealthy sexual behaviors, anger and stinginess. Conversely, the behaviors may appear on the outside as positive behaviors (eg. generosity, intense study, exercise, etc.) when in truth they are also an escape from self.

So what’s the solution to these tensions?

When we come to realize we are stuck in this intense inner struggle and that we’ve tried over and over again using our own free will to overcome to the struggle we come to Step 1 – we realize we are powerless over alcohol (or any other behavior mentioned above) and that our lives had become unmanageable.

The letting go of our own bravado, and the sense that I am G-d and can control everything is the first step. The act of letting go alone is the beginning of the healing.  Like a seed that rots in the earth before beginning to grow anew.

The next step is recognizing that our path forward can only come from a Higher Power.  What that power is at this point is less relevant than the recognition that there is help and that it comes from something greater than ourselves.

Finally, we engage in internal action.  The action of willingness to turn our will and our lives over to this Higher Power/G-d as we understood Him.

This journey is our life’s journey.  From the self interest of a child to a mature adult we go from thinking the world revolves around us to recognizing that we are here to serve something greater than ourselves.

In this week’s Torah portion we are introduced to the journey of the first Jew, Abraham. 

His first act was a recognition that all the idols and G-ds that everyone around him worshiped were of no sustaining value.  It was his act of surrender.  An admission of powerlessness. 

In his next act, Abraham who had not experienced revelation yet, came to a recognition that there was a Power greater than himself and all that was around him.  It was so complete that he was willing to be alone in the world in his faith, challenging the notion of worship of multiple G-ds.  A true act of surrender. 

In his next act he made a decision to turn his will and life over to the power of G-d as he understood him (still before revelation).  The result of these steps so complete that he made a choice to risk his very life to break away from the false worship around him.  The result of his surrender was so great and so complete that he was thrown into the fires of Ur Kasdim where a miracle occured and his life was saved.

It was after this complete letting go that G-d appeared to him.

Hashem says to Avraham, (my paraphrasing) “you think you have arrived?  You think this act of surrender means you are out of the woods?  Not so my friend.  This is a lifelong journey.  Even your act of sacrifice still is based on your own conclusions of the nonsense of the world around you.  Are you really ready to connect with G-d? Are you ready to find the G-d in yourself?  Are you ready to “Lech Lecha” – to go to yourself, to your deepest self, the G-d part of yourself?

If so, then “go forth from your land, your birth place and the house of your father”.  Leave your notions, world views and attitudes formed by your culture, your genetics and your upbringing.  Surrender yourself to the Will of G-d.  “Go the Land that I will show you”.

They say one needs to do the first two steps perfectly.  In the act of surrender we open ourselves up to Step 3, to make a decision to turn our will over to G-d. It is a single decision to turn our will and life over.  And then I live my life over and over again growing in support of that decision.  Because as long as our body and soul are together, the tension will always exist.  As long as our surrender is complete we will always be open to Will of G-d and that will without fail restore us sanity.

Just as Avraham did not and could not know just how good the leap of faith would be on the other side upon leaving his land, so too the addict and alcoholic cannot imagine the life that is possible in sobriety. 

Have a Good Shabbos!

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