A Rose Amongst the Thorns

At our dinner table, we occasionally will do the Rose/Thorn review of our days.  It’s a way to discuss something challenging that happened that day (the thorn) and notice it, breathe through it, discuss it, and be stronger because of it.  And it’s a way to identify things that happened that elicit gratitude and appreciation of Hashem (the Rose) and others.

Reflecting on the year that is leaving us in just about two weeks, there are plenty of Roses and Thorns.  For some more Roses than Thorns, for others more Thorns than Roses.  Regardless of your experience, it’s essential to notice the Thorns, name them, breathe through them, learn from them, and pray and resolve for a better year.  And for the Roses, it’s important, nay imperative, that we recognize them, give gratitude, and use them as building blocks in the New Year.

One of my Roses of this year was the opportunity to see, really see the good in those around me.  Without the constant movement, the output pressure of the day to day, there has been more time for pause and reflection.  To be more present and see who it is that is in front of me.  I’ve come to appreciate on a much deeper level the people in my life.  My wife Dena, for starters, how much she does each day.  How intuitive she is about what is going on with each of our children and me.  Her fantastic sense of the pulse of the community.  And her ability to take brilliant Torah ideas and explain them on an easily understandable level.  These are qualities that I’ve always known about, but during these Covid-19 days, I have had the opportunity to see them much more clearly.

My children.  I have exceptional children.  I always knew that as a proud dad. But now, I have a much greater recognition of each of their qualities.  Their talents.  The things that make them truly unique in this world.  From the skills such as baking and drawing to the love of animals and nature.  Sunday’s have been our escape from quarantine to the natural world.  Climbing mountains, seeing the wonders of , watching the love between children, observing children in their natural state soaking up life was a gift that I may never have been privileged to learn from and experience.

The opportunity to check in with community members, donors, friends, people reaching out for support has been a gift as I’ve learned to appreciate the deep character and compassion so many people around me possess. The gift of being present.  People who live extraordinary lives, waking daily to overcome challenges from without and from within. Real heroes.

Identifying the good is not pollyannaish, and it doesn’t deny that there is plenty of ugliness out there.  But even in the ugliest of people, there is beauty.  It’s the Rose among the thorns and identifying the Rose within our thorns.  Identifying the Rose in ourselves and others can empower a person to navigate away and through their thorns to a better place.

In this week’s Torah portion, Hashem calls us His treasure. Rashi comments, like a king who has treasures in his storehouse.

There are various treasures belonging to a king; those he puts on display to show his royalty and the royalty of the kingdom and the crown jewel sitting in the center of the crown.  But, the treasure of the storehouse is the king’s playground.  It’s what gives him happiness.

We are Hashem’s treasure.  Every one of us.  If we are Hashem’s treasure, surely I can find some good in another or at best suspend judgment.

As we end a challenging year, let’s find the good in others. Let’s find the thorn among the roses.  Let’s love a little bit more deeply. Let’s judge a little less. 

Together, let’s make the world a better place by populating more roses.

Shana Tova and Shabbat Shalom! 

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